I Will Remember

“I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me. In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted . I remembered God, and was troubled : I complained , and my spirit was overwhelmed . Selah. Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak . I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search . Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore ? Hath God forgotten to be gracious ? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah. And I said , This is my infirmity : but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings. Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God? Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people. Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah. The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid : the depths also were troubled . The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad . The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook . Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known . Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.” Psalms 77

Life has a way of causing those with even the greatest of strength and determination to falter at times. I imagine it would be a fair assumption that we all have sat back, at some point in our life, and asked ourselves, “How did I get here? Why am I going through this?”

No too long ago, I remember going through a period in my life. I cried until I was certain I wouldn’t be able to cry another tear. I argued with myself, my best friend, the dog, the cat, God…anyone or anything that would give their ear to my frustration and found myself in the same misery at the end of my ranting. I was going through such a trial that I prayed for sleep so I could escape from my thoughts for a few hours…but even sleep wouldn’t come to my rescue.

These are the periods of life that cause us to question. They cause us to step back and take inventory of what we have gained and lost through the years. Trials are hard. They are draining…and they make the most opportune times for Satan to challenge our hearts and minds. I will be honest and tell you that it wasn’t so very long ago that I confessed to my best friend that “I don’t know.” I was so broken at that point that “I don’t know” seemed the answer to every question. I didn’t know if God was with me because I hadn’t felt Him in so long. I didn’t know if God was supplying strength because I felt so wearied by my trial. I didn’t know if I would feel like myself again because who I was at one point in my life seemed to have been stripped away and forgotten. I didn’t know if things would get better because life hadn’t given me to the opportunity to see much hope for my future…and if this was the security I had been given, I didn’t know if I wanted it anymore.

Have you been there? Have you questioned whether your walk with God was worth it? Have you questioned Who and what you believe? I have.

I told my best friend that I didn’t know. I didn’t know if I wanted to keep walking with a God that I wasn’t sure about anymore. Then, God used her. She said, “Britney, you’re angry at the wrong person. God didn’t do this to you.” She was right. I was justified in my anger, but I wasn’t right in being angry at God. He did allow this trial to come my way, but He didn’t cause this trial for me. Man did. It was man’s decisions that caused the hurt and anger I felt. Then she said these words that truly challenged all the confusion I had been feeling. “Britney, you can not deny that you have felt Him. You have felt the hand of God in your life before.” I could logically argue with her about so many things that had caused such pain in my life. I could raise so many questions that she nor I would be able to answer. But, I can’t deny THAT.

At the age of 13 I remember feeling the sheer awesome presence of God. I remember laying in my bed and being consumed by such a love that it only could have come from His hand. I have sung under an anointing that caused men’s hearts to melt and hand to raise in surrender to His glory. And even in this trial…even in this pain…there were times that I would close my eyes and feel peace. Peace in the midst of a storm. That’s God.

I have began to praise Him more. I’ve began to acknowledge Him and Who He is and my frame of mind is changing. My Spirit is being lifted. I’m seeing things clearer. There truly is something to praise. Our physical body responds when it acknowledges its maker and the burden begins to become lighter, the darkness begins to break way for the Light, and the pains begins to ease. The Psalmist learned this lesson many years ago. He too was going through a trial that was breaking his heart and spirit. He questioned if God had forsaken him. “Is Your mercy gone? Are your promises failing?” He stood where we have struggled too. But then, he gives us the answer to overcoming the trials that try to defeat us. “But I will remember the works of the Lord.” He began to call to mind all the times that God had made Himself real. He began to meditate on His deliverance and on the Word of God and His whole outlook began to change in response. “Who is as great as our God?”, he asked.

Praise Him. Remember Him. Call to your mind all the times that He has shown Himself real. Will there be times that you have to make yourself? Sure. “I WILL remember.”…he commanded his mind. So, certainly there may be times where we have to make the conscious decision to praise Him. But, PRAISE HIM.

I will remember Him. I can’t deny Him. I refuse to give in.

Author: Britney Wilkes

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Published in: on March 28, 2011 at 3:16 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This is absolutely beautiful!

  2. Great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me! How many wonderful things can I call to remembrance? Far more than the hard things. The good lives on and bad fades away. Thank You Father =)

  3. I’ve been struggling with my “I don’t know” too. My trials and tribulations lately have been the hardest that I have ever endured. I’ve question myself, my faith, God’s mercy and love.

    I’m angry at Man as well. I’m angry at Woman too. If a woman of God could help to lead a husband astray is she really a woman of God? And if a man of God can allow himself to walk away or be allowed to be lead astray is he really a man of God? If these are the people of God, do I want to be one of them?

    I have to look at the blessings that I have been given. That this was not the work of God. It was the work of Man as you said.

    Thank you for sharing this insight.

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