The Lover of My Soul

“For He satisfieth the longing soul…” Psalm 107:9a

I was 13 years old the year that I was saved.  The praise team sang a song, “Jesus, Lover of My Soul.”  I fell in love with that phrase.  I thought it was beautiful.  When I would lead the praise and worship team for my youth I would sing those words with such sincerity…with such passion.  “Jesus, Lover of my soul.  Jesus, I will never let You go.  You’ve taken me from the miry clay.  You’ve set my feet upon a Rock and now I know.  I love you.  I need.  Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go.  My Savior.  My closest friend.  I will worship you until the very end.”

Today, almost 15 years later, God called that passion to my attention again.  I was able to attend a church service where The Drummond Family was ministering.  One of the ladies in the group has such a precious anointing.  She was sharing a testimony of God’s goodness in her life and referred to our Savior as the “Lover of my soul.”  Tears filled my eyes and gratefulness filled my heart…because now I can sing with an even greater conviction.  I know the Lover of my soul and He alone can satisfy my longing.

I have shared that my marriage ended a short while ago.  The ending of that season in my life almost broke me. ..and because I was hurting and broken…because there was a huge emptiness within me, I was eager to replace what I had lost.  Let me be the first to tell you that if you are looking to the world for an answer, you will always receive an answer, but it is temporary.  I was standing in my girls nursery when my best friend told me, “Britney, you don’t need a man to validate who you are.  Let God do that for you.”  That aggravated me.  “I’m not looking for validation,” I argued.  And I didn’t feel that I was.  I wasn’t living in sin.  I wasn’t doing anything that I couldn’t tell my mama about!  I had justified everything within my mind but my spirit knew different.  I was looking for validation.  I was looking for someone to tell me that I was worth something.  That I was special.  That there was still beauty in my brokenness.  I wanted someone to make me feel whole again…complete.  I tried to fill that emptiness for months until one day I allowed myself to feel the hurt.  I allowed myself to feel.  I began to feel all that had been lost and I cried on my knees in my living room.  I knelt at my couch and told God these words..  “I want to feel all the hurt that I have to feel.  I want to feel all the anger, all the bitterness, all the fear…I want to go through everything that I have to go through.  But, I don’t want to numb the pain by my own devices anymore.  I want You to fill my emptiness.  I want You to heal my brokenness.  I want You to ease the bitterness and the anger.  I want to go through this, but I want to go through this with You.”  It was a conscious decision and it required effort on my part, but He met me there.  He didn’t leave me where I was.  He didn’t become angry and say, “No, you wanted to do it your way!”  He met me where I was. …Broken…hurt…I felt so empty…and He loved me anyway.  My Savior has become the lover of my soul.  He knows the ins and outs of my very being.  He has searched the darkest crevasses of my heart and mind.  He has whispered peace in the stillness of the night…and He has proclaimed His love for me in abundance.  I have come to this point in my life.  I would rather be alone and know that my soul is at rest in the shelter of my Saviors arms than spend a moment of satisfaction with multitudes of those that could offer happiness in a world that is fleeting.  My Savior has satisfied the longing of my soul.

There are those of you who are searching to fill an emptiness within your heart.  For whatever reason, you feel the need to be validated as something of worth…to be told that you are special…to be pointed out in a crowd of everyday faces.  Please, don’t waste time looking for fulfillment in a world that is going to pass away.  God desires to share such a love with you that others pale in comparison.  You, indeed, are special.  You, indeed, are of worth.  The God of all creation sent His Son to save your soul.  He lived a sinless life.  No fault could be found in Him and yet He willingly laid down His life on an old rugged cross…took the shame and mockery from a blasphemous people…and shed His blood so you would know that you ARE of worth, not just of something, but EVERYTHING.  He gave everything for you.

Seek Him and you will find Him.  Honor Him and you will never be left without.  Love Him and allow Him to be the lover that fills the longings of your soul.



Author: Britney Wilkes

Copyright © 2010-2011 Devotions Of Grace Blog – All Rights Reserved

Published in: on April 3, 2011 at 8:14 pm  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. awesome testament of God’s love and passion for your call….stay in His presence!!!

  2. its great and inspirational.

  3. It’s inspirational story that all young ladies should read. Waiting for a perfect shining knight is a fairy tale. Only Jesus can fulfill our lives to the fullest.

  4. I Loved It! Thanks so much! 4 sharing, Your story has help me see some things clearer! 4 I 2 Fill empty some times! Thanks so much!

  5. Thanks to the Lord and for His mercy and grace…..thanks too u for sharing wonderful testimony… is really inspiring me..on my emptiness…God bless u

  6. Thank-you …. I have been blessed by the inspiration and hope. May God bless all you do for the Kingdom of God.

  7. *tear* I’m so proud of you Britney. Jesus loved you 5 years ago when you were joyful, 2 years ago when you were hurting, 8 months ago when you were broken, and today He is rejoicing at the way all of the broken pieces are coming back together–turning into something better than you ever dreamed you could be, but just as awesome as I knew you would be! I love you! So very, very proud of you.

  8. God’s love is so great, there can be no love like this. awesome testimony. God bless u. thanks to you for sharing..

  9. Surely Jesus is the only true LOVER of our soul. In Him I find comfort, when my own husband despised me, He turn to be my and only faithful husband and God to me. Thank you for the beautiful and encouraging testimony GBU.

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