The Angry Man

He was angry. The man who sat in front of me poured out the details of his painful past. He wasn’t proud of the decisions that had led him to where he was…he didn’t claim to have lived a perfect life…but there was one point he thought that he had done everything right.  There was a time he thought he had made all the right decisions in the eyes of God and man.  He went to church.  He provided well for his family.  He gladly went home every day and spend his time investing in things that mattered.  So, when his circumstances changed and life began to rain on the “just” as it did the “unjust”, he was certain that God would deliver him.  Certainly, God wouldn’t allow him to go through such pain because he had done everything right! God would keep him from this hurt, he thought.  But things didn’t change.  In his eyes, what was a bad situation only became worse.  He walked away from his right decisions and began to live a life deserving of the circumstances he had faced.  He lost all he knew.  He became a person that he despised.  He openly shared, “I laugh when I feel like crying.  I smile when I feel like screaming in pain.  I am not me anymore.  This is not who I am”.  Tears ran down his face and anger poured from heart.  He cried, “This God I served…this Savior I once called mine…He needs to stand up from His throne and show Himself real to me!”

Hurt, shame, frustration…so much emotion called from within this broken man.  He had come from two different worlds.  I couldn’t relate to his world and he couldn’t relate to mine.  But, I could relate to his pain.  Hopelessness feels the same…no matter how we arrived in that state.  I heard myself in his voice when he questioned, “How did I even get here?  Life was not supposed to turn out this way for me”.  I even heard myself in his anger and bitterness when he said that God needed to stand up off His throne…but I also felt the Spirit gently whisper into my heart…”Not only will I stand up for Him…I will run to him”.

The Prodigal Son is a beautiful parable of redemption.  As a Mama I feel I can relate to the Fathers overwhelming desire to see his son.  I cry when I think of this father running to embrace him.  But the beauty of this parable truly rests in the comparison to the way that God loves us.  When we return home…no matter our present condition…God will run to meet us where we are at.

So, I looked into the eyes of this man and shared the love of Jesus.  I asked him if he had asked God to make Himself real to him. After several long conversations he realized that he had just expected God to answer his desire because He is God…and He should just meet the desires of His children.  I reminded him that we have not because we ask not.  I saw the change in his eyes as I felt Gods Spirit ministering. I cried when I told him that God was waiting on him…watching for him…that he would run to him and embrace him as His own.  “But I’m still so angry!” I asked him, “Do you think that your being angry changes the fact of Gods love for you?” He thought about this and then shook his head.  I went on to tell him that God would love him through his anger and continue to love him after. Our circumstances doesn’t change who God is.

The angry man who sat earlier was different when he left.  God had done a work.  So, I wanted to share with you the same thing.  We don’t serve a God who isn’t touched by the feelings of our  infirmities.  We don’t serve a God that sits on His throne observing His children and delighting in their confusion and anger.  No, we serve a God who watches and waits on His children.  And when we realize that our home can only be where our Father is…when we begin to walk that road to return to Him…our Father will see us from afar and run to us.  He will wrap us in arms of love and He will welcome you home…if for no other reason than we are His…and the children belong with their Father.

 

Author: Britney Wilkes

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Published in: on July 23, 2011 at 8:17 am  Leave a Comment  

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