Loneliness is a Season

“To every thing there is a season..” Ecclesiastes 3:1 A


I walked onto my porch this morning and couldn’t help but smile. For a small moment I stopped and savored the feeling of hope…change…and expectancy. I live in Florida. Basically we have two seasons here, hot and cold. Rarely, very rarely, there will be a small few weeks of ‘cool’ weather, but as I mentioned these times are rare. But,ever so often, a few times a year, it seems that God allows a simple and beautiful moment to speak volumes to my soul. This morning was such a time. When the light that shines takes on a different tone…When the air turns more crisp, and the breeze, though only slight, is somewhat refreshing. I can’t help but smile. It’s the changing of the seasons. We all have seasons in our life. Ecclesiastes chapter 3 is beautiful. It depicts life in a way that’s true. There is a time for everything. And though the happy times are pleasurable and we would love to live our lives completely in this season, it can’t be. There is also a time to cry, a time to mourn.

‘I’m very lonely.’..I told my best friend, and I am. I’m happy, I recognize God’s blessings. I am aware of His provision in my life. I feel ok. But at night when I settle the girls into bed, after the day’s mess has been straitened up. After the clothes have been sorted for the next day, I feel loneliness creep into the deep crevices of my heart. It isn’t pain, but it hurts nonetheless.

Seasons have changed for me. There was a time when brokenness marked my life. During this season I needed healing, and my Savior seemed to wrap me in His arms day after day and shelter me from the hurt that threatened to overtake me. And then there was time of rejoicing, because for all the heartache and pain I had gone through, I had made it. Satan hadn’t won, and I had grown to a place where I believed in life again. I had finally found a song in my heart. There was also a time of anger, a time when I fought the bitterness that settled in my soul. I learned a lot during this season. I learned of God’s ability to take what I offered and use it for His glory and my betterment. And now I seem to be in a season of waiting. For me this is the hardest. I’ve committed all of my fears and insecurities to my Savior. I truly do trust that God will bring all His promises to pass, but it has to be in His time. So I’m waiting.

John Waller sings an amazing song called ‘While I’m Waiting’ and it speaks of these times in individual’s lives, the times when we are waiting for God to place the pieces in order. They can be lonely times. They can make you question yourself. Whether you’ve made the right decisions, whether you’ve done everything you could have done. His song sings.. “While I’m waiting I will serve you, while I’m waiting I will worship. While I’m waiting I will not faint, I’ll be running the race, even while I wait..’ And that’s my prayer for my life. But I recognize that it’s at this point, while we are waiting on the delivery of God’s Word that many Christians act out of their own belief and perceptions of their situation. And in doing so we can miss what God has in store for our life.

I don’t know what you are waiting on God for. I don’t know what impossibility you have entrusted into His hands, but I know that this time of waiting is just that. A time. A season. And the seasons will change, and time does pass. If I were to act out of what I felt, I may miss the blessing of God. My feeling says ‘I’m lonely.’…and loneliness seeks company to fill missing pieces. But a couple of years ago I asked God for a man who would take me to church. It’s more than church, I know. It’s more than just being a good man, I know.

I wrote then…

‘Many men could offer to take me to many different places. They could offer me security in their devotion and unfailing love. They could buy me pricey gifts and write me beautiful letters full of emotions, rhymes, and heartfelt lyrics. But when the hard times come and a decision has to be made…when it appears that the “worse” outweighs the “better”…I want a man who will lead his family to an altar and seek the face of the one who truly made the provision for this need many years ago. I want a man who will stand in complete surrender to the will of God. I want a man who will take me to church.’

I wrote it then, but I still mean it now. So I walked outside and felt the breeze. Even as I sit and look outside my window, the light looks different, and I am reminded that this season that I’m in, the loneliness, it will change. Hope will spring anew, and God will give me the blessing that He has promised. Just as He will for you in your life.


Author: Britney Wilkes

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Published in: on September 10, 2012 at 5:42 pm  Leave a Comment  

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