I Denied Jesus

I’ve always enjoyed reading about the life and ministry of Peter. Simon Peter typically wouldn’t be the one who society would have chosen for greatness. He was a common fisherman who went about a common routine in his life. He worked hard, he took care of his home and his wife. Common, routine…until Jesus walked by. He called Peter among the first to be His chosen disciples. He followed Jesus closely and loved Him with a great passion. He not only witnessed some of the greatest miracles that Jesus performed but experienced them.

When Peter hadn’t been successful on a day of fishing, Jesus told him to cast his nets on the other side. I wonder what Peter thought as he gathered the nets to cast them yet again. Fishing was his profession. If this had been me I probably would have thought this was all just a waste of my time, I may have even been frustrated by the request. But Peter’s obedience produced miraculous results. They caught more fish than should have been realistically possible. Peter witnessed a child’s lunch multiply before his very eyes feeding hundreds, with enough left to meet his needs as well. The lame walked, and the blinded eyes were made to see. His own mother-in-law was healed by the very hand of Jesus Christ. Peter knew the greatness of who He was, he saw the power that Jesus possessed. He heard and felt the command of His voice. Peter professed Him boldly, and loved Him without guard. This Jesus he knew, who he had a real and precious relationship with, was the Son of the Living God….which was exactly why he denied Him.

I’ve heard countless Christians say that they would have never denied Jesus as Peter had. As a teenager I myself was so in love with Jesus that I could never fathom denying the fact that I even knew His name one time, much less three. But then I grew older. I was granted the experience of life, and my perceptions of who Jesus was to me changed. Hurt and anger showed me a different perspective.

Up until that point I had only experienced the beauty of life, for the most part. I was saved at thirteen, and I committed my life to Christ with a great passion. I was a model Christian who didn’t smoke, drink, or cuss. I made every right decision. I fell in love with my dream of a man in high school, went to college, and married that man and started a family. I had a wonderful job, and made awesome friendships there. We were faithful to attend church and worked in ministry. And then, in a matter of a second, my world began to crumble around me. My husband left, and there I stood with a baby, not even two years old, and another at only six months old…and I was alone. Certainly God wouldn’t allow this to happen…certainly God would heal and restore my marriage…certainly this wasnt really happening…but it was. And then, some months later, I lost my job. Life hurt, and God didn’t restore my marriage. My God wouldn’t have let this happen…not the God I knew. My God would have protected me and my children. My God would have built a shield around me…and wouldn’t have allowed the hurt to literally take me to my knees. Except that He did. And I became angry. I don’t know this God, this isn’t who I devoted my life to, and if this was Him I wanted no part of Him.

So I believe when Peter denied Jesus he truly felt he didn’t know Him at all. Jesus healed the broken, the storm ceased from raging at His command. The dead lived again when He said the words. He couldn’t understand this man who wouldn’t even speak in His own defense. He didn’t understand the man who was beaten and spit upon. Obviously He wasnt who He said He was, obviously he had been betrayed. So yes, I believe Peter denied knowing this Jesus. I believe he felt that he didn’t know Him at all because Jesus wouldn’t have left him and Jesus wouldn’t have allowed Himself to be shamefully crucified. Except that He did.

You see, Jesus told Peter he would return to him, and then he experienced the greatest hurt he had ever known. And that hurt was so real and so present that he couldn’t see how Jesus could ever return to him.

Jesus told me that He would bring me through my pain, but my hurt was so real…and so present.. I couldn’t see a better future.

But God brought Peter back to the place he denied Him and met the truth head on. ‘Do you love me Peter?” Jesus asked him..and each time Peter said.. ‘Yes Lord. You know that I love you.’ Peter didn’t feel the need to prove this love, because he accepted who Jesus was, and knew that Jesus knew his heart. Jesus told him to finish what he had started every time.. ‘Feed my sheep Peter.’

The circumstances of life will change all around you. Man will make decisions that can shatter your heart and your world. You may experience such pain that you feel you never really even knew who Jesus was. But our hurt and denial doesn’t change His love for us, and when the time is right He will bring you through exactly how He said He would. And you’ll see why things happened the way they did, and you’ll be grateful. And then He’ll tell you to continue what you started, and you’ll be humbled that He would choose to use you again.

Author: Britney Wilkes
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Published in: on June 9, 2013 at 8:43 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Love this!!!!! Thanks for sharing.


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